Why Cats are Better than Kids:
1. My toys are less expensive, (though I do tend to lose them under the armoire, the stove, the couch…well, you get the idea).
2. I won’t need college tution, (what could an institution of higher learning possibly teach me?).
3. I won’t backtalk, (not in English, at least).
4. I won’t throw wild parties when we are left at home alone for a weekend, (though, I might walk on the kitchen counters).
5. I won’t grow up, and move away. I’ll always be your baby (when I am not displeased with you for leaving us alone for a weekend).
6. I won’t ask for the keys to the car (as a matter of fact, I hate the car!).
7. The best gift you can give me is an empty box (even boxes you don’t give me are great).
8. I will give my own self a bath, (and don’t you dare try).
9. I can purr (like a Harley).